Friday, June 15, 2012

The TARDIS Makes Me Horny

My Cruddy Doctor Who TARDIS fanart. 
It seems like every moment all I can think about it sex and orgasms.   I dream about sex and masturbating.    I almost feel like a hormonal teenager that thinks everything is some of dirty sexual innuendo because everything makes me think of sex.   Watching Stargate with Sire and all I can think about is jumping on him and fucking him, but I'm not allowed to.  I have also been guilty of fantasizing about nearly every sexy geeky science fiction character I've encountered recently.  I don't even have to try it just happens.   Sex with a Dalek? I'm sure I could make it work

It's so ironic that pregnancy has made me feel like an even more sexual person than before.  My body is so curvy, my skin and hair is so smooth and silk, my sex drive was through the roof to the point where I was waking up in the middle of the night nearly every night just to fuck myself.  Typically sex and orgasms during pregnancy is perfectly safe, but I had a complication during my first birth that has caused me to have issues with my cervix this time around which triggered preterm labor last month. 

In some ways this deprivation of sexual pleasure really is sexual experience as well, with all of the pent up sexual energy it's creating.   I don't know why I torture myself on edenfantasies and other sex toy websites looking at the sales.   I decided the first thing I'm going to do when I'm off pelvic rest is treat myself to one of those big bad dragon dildos I've been lusting over at Bad Dragon, specifically Duke.

I attempted to make my own geeky and sexy Pandora station, Celestial Geeky Sex Radio, and it seems to be playing an interesting mix of music, from MC Chris, to The Smiths, Metallica and Danzig, in addition to some old nineties music.  I've been playing minecraft with Sire recently also now that I have all this spare time. 

With my daughter away for the weekend I have promised myself to write some late toy reviews over at edenfantasies.

I had to come back to add the awesome Dalek I draw tonight after Sire decided to dig out my tablet for me.   Inspired by this post and a conversation with another blogger friend of mine.   This was so much fun, I think I may be doing some more stuff like this soon. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Gone A While

My positive pregnancy test in December.
I'm ashamed.   I've been gone so long and I just thought I should come back and at least explain what's been going on.   I'm sure it was evident in my previous posts that I was overwhelmed with life.  I having children, going to university, and working was new to me and it was much more difficult than I anticipated.   The end of the Fall semester I focused on school, and then I finally conceived in December.   So on top of everything else I was then also pregnant and exhausted.   The last six months were the hardest in my life;  I have been constantly sick with various health issues, and couldn't keep up with school and work.   The same time I managed to pull my way through the end of the semester I went into preterm labor at 24 weeks and have been in and out of the hospital because of that now.   So I'm pretty bummed out now that the summer is finally here and I'm on pelvic rest and can't really participate in the lovely sexual fun in the sex blogging communities.   

I saw some really awesome toy sales recently and decided not to spend since it would just be too torturous for me to stare a new toy I can't use for the next few months.   I have been so incredibly horny the last couple weeks, it's awful.   I've become so conditioned to masturbation in the shower that now when I take a shower ever little droplet of water is like foreplay and it just teases me makes and makes me ache for an orgasm.
My pregnant belly a few weeks ago. 

I really want to start blogging again, so I'm going to have to expand my themes in my blog and focus probably on other things more than sex for now.  I will probably focus on more geeky and pregnancy related topics as well as magical witchy things.  I could also review some of my newer toys based on last months experiences and talk about some of the new sexual encounters I've had up until the pelvic rest occurred.    Just let the blogging go wherever.   Being off work and in bed a lot now, I've had time to re-explore old geeky past-times I hadn't had time for in a while.  

So I'm anticipating a return but it will taste a little different.    No children are home tonight, so perhaps I could start working on a project right now.  :) 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Ovulation Confirmed; Waiting to Test

I just got out of the shower and I really should finish up the homework I'm working on, but instead I decided I wanted to write an overdue blog entry.  I'm a naughty student I suppose.

I peed on a stick for a whole week waiting to get a positive ovulation test. Monday the 17th, I finally got a positive test in the evening.   Sire and I had had sex that morning so I felt awesome about the intercourse timing for ovulation.   Friday, Saturday, and Monday I had coworkers that didn't even know that I am trying to conceive ask me if I was pregnant.   I'm hoping my coworkers are having some sort of collective premonition of this cycle being the one.

Today I'm Seven days past ovulation and I don't know how I'm going to make it through this next week waiting to test.   My temperatures are high the last few days.  I'm hoping that's a good sign.  I've been lighting a candle, burning rose incense and praying to Aphrodite everyday.   I'm sort of a bad Pagan in that when I pray to a God it's really informal, but I'll talk about that another day.


Yesterday I had a sort of fail.  My daughter had a friend over expectantly.  After her friend's mom dropped her off I went up to the bathroom and happened to the look in the mirror and see the shirt I was wearing.  My Eden Fantasys Shirt that says "I like things that go Vroom."  It's my favorite shirt to sleep in because it is just so comfortable.  (You can get it as a free gift right now with your purchase)  Hopefully her mom either didn't read the shirt or didn't get the refference.  She doesn't come off as the type that would have been comfortable with that.  

Then to make matters worse, the first thing my daughter does is bring her friend into my bedroom and pick up an empty sex toy box that some how fell out of the closet.   I was having a minor panic attack when I realized I had sex toys laying out all over my room (above the kids eye level) and quickly ushered them out and shut the door.  I think no one ever had an idea what was going on other than me but I think I learned a lesson all the same.   Sire keeps telling me one of these days someone is going to come over and find a vibrator on the bathroom sink.   He's probably right.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Hey Life! Stop so I can catch up!

Wow I just read a post from September and realized that is still exactly where I am.  When I get caught up on one thing another gets behind.  Then when I take a break for a day everything gets behind again.  So yeah that's where I am.   I am so worried Eden Fantasy's and Digital Playground thinks I'm flaking on them but I'm totally not.  My work hours are variable and on call so I'm just so exhausted.  I'm so busy I'm not even getting my homework done. Plus I don't want to take pictures or videos in my house while it's trashed.

I am so over life right now; I just want to take a break from everything for a while.

As you may know if you've been reading my blog and twitter, I am trying to get pregnant and I was really starting to get hopeful even though I had negative tests.  My temperatures were staying high so I thought maybe I ovulated later than my chart was showing and that was why I was getting negative tests.  I had an OB appointment today for a pap smear and knew that they could do a pregnancy test for me while I was there.  Well an hour before my appointment I started my period.  I was so emotional at work I just about lost my cool with a stupid calculator that I couldn't get to work.   I even skipped my class tonight.   On the plus side the midwife I saw the OB's office finally made a suggestion for my ovarian cysts other than birth control.   She told me there was nothing else Western Medicine could do for me but recommended Chinese medicine, specifically acupuncture.  She told me I if I told them I have ovarian cysts and I'm trying to get pregnant they could probably treat me to help with both things!

I did get this neat new toy in the mail recently.   I got this and a butt plug because I've been wanting to try some anal play.  Still not sure how I feel about it.  The Swirly Deuce is totally beautiful and it has a third prong which can be used alone for thrusting and I love it.   Unfortunately the toy doesn't like up well enough for me for the double penetration to be comfortable.  I am glad I got it though because now I know that I absolutely love glass and need some more.

I'm going to bed now.  Goodnight.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Negative

So I couldn't restrain myself and took a pregnancy test yesterday morning.  It was negative but it was also likely too early to test.  I really shouldn't have done it and now I realize that.   Obviously the negative hurt, but I'm still wondering was it too early?  I didn't think it would hurt because I was saying that I really expected it to be negative, but really why would I have test unless I wanted it to be positive.  I was in denial thinking I wouldn't be hurt.  So there was no point in testing at all since now I'm between wondering was it too early and being hurt.  I feel dumb.   Especially since yesterday Fertility Friend wasn't sure if I had ovulated at all because of my cervical mucus patterns.

It was really early to ovulate; I kept thinking it was just from me getting sick.    However, today after putting in my temperature Fertility Friend decided that I did in fact ovulate on cycle day 10.   Sire and I had sex a day after that so technically my chances are really low I think, but my nipples have been so sensitive recently I haven't wanted my daughter to nurse ( And yes I do still nurse my preschool age daughter once or twice a day ) so I've really been wondering.   I feel overly hopeful.

 I'm still feeling really sick but today I'm trying really hard to get caught up on my homework.   I think I should start having Sire stand over me to enforce it getting done with out distractions. 


Sunday, September 18, 2011

So Behind But Still Here

I have been neglecting my blog and I'm so sorry.  I'm thinking about things to post everyday but just haven't had time to sit down and write them.  I am so behind on everything.  I knew I was going to be busy but I honestly had no idea that I would be so tired in the evenings and have no will to do anything after I get home from my night classes.  I'm behind on homework, reviews, and housework.  It's awful.  My house has laundry, toys and dirty dishes everywhere.

I've been taking prenatal pills and have a massive collection of cheap pregnancy and ovulation tests.   I've been charting my cycle on fertilityfriend.com. We haven't been having a lot of sex or doing much of anything kinky in general recently since Sire and I have both been sick.  Since I'm sick I can't tell for sure but I think I ovulated early this cycle around the time we did have sex and if so I'm about ten days past ovulation and just aching to do a pregnancy test since I had cramps and temperature dip at the right time that it could have been implantation.   I may also be reading too far into it.  I think I should wait until next weekend at least to test but I really really want to do it tomorrow.   Seeing positive pregnancy tests at ten days past ovulation really makes me want to test.  Maybe I'll just wait until Tuesday atleast.  The suspense is killing me.  

Also I've noticed some of the other pains I had previously been contributing to my IUD recently (stabbing sensation in the cervix) so obviously it's not the IUD and probably wasn't before.  I'm wondering if it has to do with the damage to my cervix after my daughter's birth?

Anyhow I mostly wanted to post so everyone knows I haven't abandoned my blog, I've just been really busy.   I'm trying to work out my schedule so I know when to plan to do everything so it all gets done.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Cat's Out of the Bag

Today was unexpectedly exhausting. This morning I went to work and had to host a meeting I didn't expect to because my supervisor was ill today and couldn't do it.  I had no idea until I got there and saw a message for me on the phone about it. I had about ten minutes to prepare.  I stayed after for a while to talk with another coworker about lab hours.  When I left work I walked outside and checked my phone to see a message from Sire:

"Can't pick you up I'm in a meeting.  You have to walk home."  

It was almost 100°F outside.   

When I finally got home I stripped all my clothes off and nearly passed out on the couch.   I wanted to take a nap or play Arc Rise Fantasia and just veg out, but then Sire came home and asked me to run to the store with him.  So I got dressed again and went.

After the store we went to the bank and then ran by my moms house to pick something up.  I was all giddy about having my IUD removed yesterday and was dying to tell someone I knew in real life. 
So I went to my teenage sister and whispered in her ear "Wanna know a secret?  It's a secret you can't tell anyone!" 
She says "Okay... Yeah sure."   But sort of suspiciously.  I think she was afraid it was going to be some sort of TMI sort of thing.  
"I had my IUD removed yesterday!" I whispered very quietly.   My mother was on the other side of the room.
My sister responds out loud "I had  mine removed last week. Were you having problems with it too or...?"  And then she made a baby gesture as if that was some how less revealing than saying it out loud.  
I heard my mom on the other side of the room giggling like mad and doing a little victory hand movement.
I instinctively whacked my sister on the head with the mail in my hand and said, "Could you be more obvious? It was suppose to be a secret!" 
My mom started doing a happy dance saying, "I'm so excited!"
My sister apologized.
I found it necessary to proclaim out loud "I am not pregnant!"
And then my grandmother shows up from the other room and says "Oh but do you want to be?"
I tried to change the subject.  My mom was still doing her happy dance.  I told my sister to come by my apartment and visit then I said goodbye and left.

Oh  man.   I felt awkward.   I didn't want to have to talk about it with my family unless we actually got pregnant since they just are well hard to talk to generally.  My mother filled me with all this negative energy when I was pregnant with my first.  When I went to the doctor yesterday to have the IUD removed I was told I might be at an increased risk for early labor because of the damage to my cervix from a previous birth, but she didn't think I'd have any problems getting pregnant or before the end of my pregnancy.  I do have ovarian cysts though amongst other issues so we'll see how this journey goes. 

She asked me if I wanted to keep the IUD after she removed it; I wish I had said yes now because It would have been really neat to photograph for documentation here in my blog.  One side was bent a little bit, but I'm not sure if that was from the removal or if it was like that before it was removed.   I do have to say though that I had no pain when she removed it.  In fact I couldn't even tell she had pulled it out until she said "It's out!"  I went in at the end of my period so that could have been a factor that helped reduce my discomfort. I didn't really have any discomfort when it was put in either though. 

Now I need to focus on catching up on life.  Since I got home I've been lounging in my bra and my lazy time pants.  I'm hoping for some sex tonight as well as to get some reviews done.  I told Sire he could get a new video card for his computer if we have sex every other day for the next two weeks.   We'll see how that goes.